Somesh Arora: How a cow ate 500 files in 5 mins!

With the Vigilance and DRI offices of the Customs and Excise having seen a fire, it will be interesting to find out how many files are reportedly lost.

It reminds me of an old incident relating to a cow entering a range formation of the Central Excise and being there for five minutes and eating files as per the incident report. When almost every report emanating from the formation started having the remark that relevant file was untraceable and might have been eaten by the cow.

A stats-savvy senior officer got a compilation report at the Commissionerate office regarding the number of files that were reportedly eaten at the range office. It turned out that the benevolent cow, during her five minutes of visit, had eaten more than 500 files. Alas! There was no Limca Book of Records at that time, otherwise she would have emerged as the fastest file-eating cow in the world.

Fires do indicate a lot of things. An assessee who had acquired notoriety for evading duty and for attempting to reach out to officers to win them over, used to set his records on fire just on Friday before the Diwali day in case he found some officer at the helm, whom he could not manage and who made things difficult for him. Going by the past record of the assessee, it had become evident that there were two unmanageable officers for him in the last ten years. Both of whom have a reputation in the Department.

The magic trick of transmigration

The areas in and around Dwarka which had to see no Commonwealth Games event, lost quite a bit of lids covering the drains and gutter holes just before the event. Every night, numbers of the same were removed especially in the sparsely populated sectors. This also shows why our contractors in Delhi are always a confident lot about delivering just in time. The magic tricks never end in our country. One can just hope that these will return to the their origins once the Games are over in typical fashion in which a magician normally performs the lost and found tricks or will it need award of another contract in Dwarka area later on? This also reminds me of the time when my boss had given me an unrealistic deadline to clear all the old files lying in the office since pre-independence era, which required elaborate scrutiny and listing of  perpetual records before destroying the unwarranted. Even, I had to resort to the trick of listing some files randomly and putting them on the shelf, moving all the remaining files to the ever obliging sister Department of Income-tax (on assurance of similar favour, in case they came across a crazy boss) and showing him on the next visit that all are clear and unwanted destroyed. The work eventually took six months to be accomplished, but the old record room was kept clear till the boss got transferred.

Ban on Pre-natal sex determination

The Ladoo –Burfi  test serves the purpose.: Concerns are being expressed at the falling Female/Male ratio for not only areas like Punjab, Haryana and Rajasthan. All the social campaigns by the Government are unable to arrest the further decline. Higher Literacy levels are not helping much. Legislations are in place, but are flouted by the greed of certain doctors and clinics. Their modus operandi is easy. The prospective mother is made to undergo certain health checks on visit to the clinics, which normally are able to find out the pre-natal sex of the child in the womb. Then an announcement is made by the staff of the clinic that on the birth of the child Laddoo or Barfi will have to be given by the mother. Laddoo denoting a boy, and Barfi as the girl, to enable decision by the family. Needless to mention that, such clinics and hospitals are frequented in visits by the relatives of mothers to be. In this context, it is heartening to note the story of Mahavir Singh, wrestler from Haryana(the land known for adverse male/female ratio and Khap panchayat executions), who could not achieve much during his sporting lifetime due to conditions of lack of training and wrestling infra, but kept his dream and hopes alive even after retirement and took his two daughters to the the ring from the age of 13 and made them wrestle against the boys, because there were no female wrestlers available. The CWG-19 version saw both of them emerging medal winners. With Geetha winning gold and Babita silver narrowly missing the gold. While there may not be any movie made or story written about  this Great father- if there is a real Jat in Haryana, then to my mind he is the one.